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Dear everyone -
Recently a straight friend of mine asked a question about gay people. It was a really simple question: "why are all the gay guys I meet so effeminate?" And it had a really simple answer: "they're not; you just didn't realize the other ones were gay, because they're not effeminate." But he'd never heard that answer before -- even though he's known gay people for years, it's just not something he felt comfortable asking, because it seemed like it might be an insulting question.
It seems like the answer to that question should be really simple to find, but it isn't. You get a bunch of ill-informed nitwits mouthing off on various forums, or at best you get a FAQ directed at gay people. There's no resource for well-meaning but clue-free straight people to ask the questions that they might be embarassed to ask, for fear of seeming clueless, bigoted, or just nosey.
So I'm setting out to change that, and I need your help. What are the questions? Think hard, dig deep. Remember the first time you met a gay person: what did you ask? Or what have you still never had the guts to ask? Or if you're gay, what's the question you've had so many times that it makes you roll your eyes in exasperation? Here's the ones I've come up with so far (the answers are still in progress... I intend to have lots of references):
If you've got particularly good ideas for answers feel free to send those in, too, but I intend to do a lot of research and interviews to get comprehensive answers, so I'm pretty sure I've got it covered. I need more questions.
You can answer by email to thegayfaq at seldo dot com, or you can leave your question in the comments. If you'd like to leave your comment anonymously, you can use the same email address listed above instead of your own and it'll clear the spam filter. Also, please feel free to forward a link to this post to any and everywhere you think you might find people with good questions!
Update: Whoops; quite right, a bisexual section shall also be included. Thanks for the reminder, all.
All content is copyright © 2000-2008 Seldo.Com and licensed under a Creative Commons attribution-sharealike license. Remix away!
Comments
Anonymous
JJtheDarkling
Me? I like to get fucked up the butt and when the mood is right, fisted.
This isn't so strange when you consider male anatomy. Inside the butt is a weird little organ called a prostate -- we've all heard of it, but usually only when it goes cancerous.
This organ is responsible for producing some of the fun when a guy cums, and when I am getting fucked, it gets constantly bumped and agitated, sometimes making me cum without even touching my cock.
Does it hurt?
If it isn't done right, or your lover is careless, it *can*, but most of the time, no. Most of the time, I clean out my ass with a douche and then use a LOT of lube. Start slow, and work up to fast fucking. Use condoms, as they inhibit disease, and frankly, make things MORE slippery back there.
Is it gross?
ER...uh...no. Think about this a moment. If a woman is at the end of her period, she has little bits of blood suspended in her vaginal muccus. Yet, you would have no problem putting your cock into her vagina. When I have anal sex, I have cleaned out my ass. AND I have added thick lube both inside and out. AND I have insisted that my partner wear a condom. Now, clean is a relative term: I wouldn't suggest eating a dinner out of it, but its clean enough for a good rodgering.
Eric
Carly
Aren't you just greedy?
Aren't bi people more promiscuous?
Are you making it up to get attention/sound interesting?
Do you do threesomes?
Do you prefer boys or girls?
Do you think you'll end up with a man or woman?
Are you monogamous?
What does your boyfriend/girlfriend think about it?
gaydude
* did you ever date (have sex with) the opposite sex?
* would you have sex with the opposite sex now?
* do you think [ambiguous straight friend] might be gay?
* would you do [hetero friend]?
* so, you've seen quite a few cocks in your day... what's the average size? is it true what they say about [blacks, asians]?
Anonymous
Which one of you is the "man" in bed?
Can I join you and your girlfriend sometime? or Can I watch you and your girlfriend sometime?
And a classic comment I've heard over the years, often accompanied with a leer (if said by a straight man): Maybe you just haven't met the right man yet. (My stock answer: "Maybe you haven't, either.")
Doug (AKA Darlene)
My father disowned me when he found out I am a crossdresser.
Most crosdressers are not gay. I am one of the exceptions in that I am Bi-sexual, and married.
I have been monogamous for the last 20 years, but that doesn't change about how I feel about my sexuality.
I believe that for me, (I won't speak for others) sexuality is a state of mind more than a physical thing.
It is difficult to describe one's state of mind.
So, could I change my mind about being bi-sexual?
It doesn't seem like it. I have known for a long time, and I still like people of both sexes.
If you are attracted to people of the opposite sex, most people would say that you are hetro-sexual. If you are attracted to people of the same sex, most people would say that your are homo-sexual.
I feel that I am just sexual, and I get a kick out of wearing womens clothes.
Most gay men put up with my crossdressing, but don't like to get too close because they don't want to be either read, or labeled.
Most straight men try to avoid me completely when they find out I am a cross dresser.
Straight women seem to be split, and some of them like my style of dressing.
That leaves lesbians, the group where I find a large number of my friends, and most of my female friends.
Ben
richter
Straight guys:
- Many of you are homophobic (not a question, but why is this and what does it say about them?)
- Why do you love lesbian porn so much?
Straight girls:
- Aren't all girls at least partially bisexual?
- Why DON'T you like guy-on-guy porn? (90% of the girls I talk to don't like gay porn)
As a straight guy, I am genuinely curious why I love girl-on-girl so much. Nothing turns me on more. I dated a bisexual girl for over a year, and when her attraction to girls or past sexual experience with them came up, I would get mixed feelings -- partially aroused, partially jealous, partially upset in general. It bewilders me.
Anyway great topic Laurie.
patricia