Watching the Oscars on the west coast is way more fun. It all starts and ends at a completely reasonable time. It also helps to watch them in a room full of gay men who are engaged (as gay men in these situations tend to be) in an unofficial competition to win the Wittiest Remark About The Oscars™. It is in fact the American equivalent of Eurovision, except the tedious voting is replaced by tedious awards for sound editing (I mean, sound editing? Really?).

Other observations:

• Beyonce attempting not to look pissed off that she hadn't even been nominated was awesome.
• As was the three-way diva-off between the stars, source of this post's headline.
• Why oh why oh why did they spend quite so much camera time on Jack Nicholson? I figure it's become a running joke that whenever they do crowd shots at the Oscars they always show Nicholson, so the director tonight decided to play up to it. Either that or his baldness was just so horrifically shocking that they couldn't tear their eyes away.
• Why didn't the little girl from Pan's Labyrinth get nominated?
• Forest Whitaker deserved that award. I'm not so sure he deserves his wife, though, she's way hotter than he is (runner-up for wittiest comment was a well-timed and in-tune "She take my money"*).
• The ad for the iPhone was at least as exciting as anything else that evening. I so want one.

In other news, my back is a million times better. The major problem muscle unknotted itself in a very obvious, tangible way at 11am on Saturday; it was like having somebody switch off the pain. Hopefully by next weekend I will be able to dance again; for a few days there I was seriously worried that I might never dance again, which would explain why my mood last week was not terribly good.

* From Gold Digger by the otherwise massively overrated Kanye West.